Departmento Munitorium; Triage and Treatment document.http://light-tricks.deviantart.com/
I like the footnote on the first page…trying to help a Space Marine = Death.
star tr3k (haha do you see how clever i am? worship me nerds) written & directed by
YOUR NEW GODbob orci
jim kirk struts into a bar to hook up with all the ladies bc he was such a womanizer in tos wasn’t he (hell yeah) and this time he gets to bed three totally hot alien babes (because he had 1 in the first reboot, and 2 in the last one! what a theme!) but he totally doesn’t love them because he’s a manly man who can only have sex and can only have emotions with spock (but no homo!!!!!). jim does a thing and messes up and has the enterprise taken away from him but due to a series of
convenientevents that TOTALLY MAKES SENSE he gets the ship back just in time to save earth from the latest alien threat!
spock gets to mack on uhura some more and tell her that he doesn’t emote except around jim (again NO HOMO!) or when people die. at one point in the movie, sarek like explodes or something so spock is sad and uhura tries to kiss his tears away but silly human women can’t understand vulcans! what do you mean amanda and sarek had a healthy relationship? DON’T QUESTION MY CRED YOU WHINY BABIES HERE BE DISTRACTED BY A COOL SPACE JUMP AND SOME EXPLOSIONS!!!!!!!
uhura and carol will each get one scene that shows them to be competent at their jobs (but only one!) to keep those dumb ~feminists~ off our backs but then their accomplishments will be swept under a rug bc women can’t be shown as too powerful. also, every female is required to wear a uniform that is now basically a bikini. because reasons. boobie reasons. but these outfits are totally empowering to women & not at all for men to ogle at so don’t even think about calling me out on that!
oh and the villain is a white dude who is seeking revenge on starfleet bc they killed/threatened to kill their family. that’s original right? of course it is!
bones speaks only in metaphors, scotty continues to be comic relief but maybe we’ll give him a little badass scene. spock prime shows up to be enigmatic and also bc fans will shit themselves over nimoy making a cameo. and that’s everyone!
what do you mean i forgot characters? what the fuck is a chekov? and isn’t sulu that place where you can watch shows online?????
no one should direct star trek 13 because we should get a new series instead of another fucking action film that ignores all canon
my favorite thing about the star trek fandom is how very protective of the characters and cast everyone is
and how they have absolutely no time for these protected characters and cast to be subjected to the bullshit of producers/writers/directors
J.J. Abrams - (Playboy Interview)
I’m sorry, what?!
Ah yes… I remember this quote.
Is there a rumor going around that Star Trek XIII is the first thing Roberto Orci is going to direct or are we starting nightmare fuel for Halloween six months early?
Prepare yourselves for a lil Star Trek spam, guys, basically there’s some real shit going down in the Star Trek fandom in the form of Bob Orci.
Bob Orci is a screenwriter commonly associated with Alex Kurtzman and JJ Abrams, and is notorious for being a real A-hole to fans. Like, when it became pretty clear that the Trekkies weren’t fans of Star Trek Into Darkness (for a lot of reasons: incoherent plot, whitewashing, objectification of the women) he got really defensive, insulted fans, attacked them verbally, and basically was just a real douchecanoe.
Now, even after that, the bad press regarding the Trekkies and the bad press regarding the way he handled a lot of things from the film, he’s gunning to direct the next movie.
This isn’t just any movie for us, either. It’s set to premiere on our 50th Anniversary, September 8, 2016. It’s really amazing and special to us and we’re really excited and we’re desperate to make sure that Bob Orci - a man that the Trek fandom does not like and does not respect the source material we all love - isn’t the man in charge of the franchise whenever the 50th rolls around.
So you might see us pushing Star Trek stuff and also the tag #StopOrci2014, but that’s just because we’re really upset and we’re trying to generate momentum and get Paramount to understand that we don’t want Bob Orci to take over Star Trek
list of female reboot characters who aren’t A) mother of a main character or B) shown in their underwear at least once:
- ………….yeah I got nothin’
ANd a reminder that two of the four women in the Reboot aren’t even named within the script. So for those people who are casual fans have no idea that Winona is Winona or Amanda is Amanda.
Instead they are only known by their relationship to their sons and husbands.
Winona is George Kirk’s Sweetheart and Jim Kirk’s Mother
Amanda is Spock’s Mother, and his Father’s Whore.
Ain’t that swell?
#HOLY SHIT #that last comment #I have seen the movie multiple times and I didn’t even #I didn’t even notice that #I HAD TO GO THE TRANSCRIPT AND CTRL+F TO CHECK BECAUSE I ALMOST DIDN’T BELIEVE IT #they didn’t give AMANDA HER NAME #or Winona but they actually TOOK AMANDA’S NAME AWAY #and then KILLED HER #FUCK #FUCK THE WORLD #and they gave Uhura a first name but it was passed between male characters like an object #accidentally dropped by one and greedily picked up by the other #never given freely #EXCUSE ME I NEED TO GO PUNCH SOMETHING
I feel like there’s some really rageworthy meta potential here about how men’s names are important, but women’s names don’t matter at all (unless, as perceptively pointed out above, that name can be used by male characters to signify possession/etc).
#Think about this: we learn both Jim’s grandfathers’ names in that opening scene#neither of whom are present or ever in the movie at all#but not Jim’s mother’s name#even though she’s right there#in the scene#givin’ birth to the main character#And they couldn’t have had George tag on a ”Winona!” to any part of his dialogue?#like obviously the granfathers’ names were relevant for good reason - of course they were#but they could just have easily have mentioned Winona’s name too y’know? (via greenscrewdriver)
One time I got so mad about this I made an infographic.